Too early

I got up pretty early this morning. Usually after devin leaves I can go right back to bed no problem. Today is different. I had an interesting dream and I think it's because I went to bed thinking about it.

I dreamed that mom was still alive and we called her and the first thing she said was ,"I'm so glad I get to spend more time with Devin." I said ,"What do you mean?" and she said, "I didn't know his grandpa passed away in 1976." I said, " He didn't. He pass away in 2010." She just smiled. Then I woke up.

I went to bed thinking about my mom. I miss her terribly. We did the 5th annual brain cancer awareness walk on Saturday in Seattle. It was a rewarding experience. I saw some people there who have brain cancer. It obviously struck a nerve and I cried for a little. Luckily, I wasn't the only one their crying. :) Anyways, a lot of people were walking with walkers or in wheelchairs. Some were walking without the help of any cane, etc they were just walking with their friends and family. It inspired Devin and I to start our own walk in San Antonio. I know the Race for the Cure is huge in San Antonio. I am in the process of figuring out how I can go about starting San Antonio's brain cancer awareness walk.

I was watching Sixteen Candles and in the beginning Molly Ringwald is on the school bus and there is a girl sitting across from her wearing a back brace. My mom use to wear just like that. She would tell Janna and I about how she got teased all the time in school. She even won an award one time and this one girl came up to my mom and told her that she only got the award because of her back brace. My mom didn't want it if that was the true reason so she gave it to the little girl. Her teacher found out and gave it back to her and told her she earned the award. It had nothing to do with her having a back brace.

On the Ellen show, she talks about how we need to stop bullying. When my mom was a counselor, she always dealt with bullying and helped the bullies and those who were getting bullied. I sat in bed last night in amazement as to how much of an impact my mom still had on people.

I don't know if I mentioned this in an earlier post but if I did oh well. When Janna and I were little, my mom would take us to this daycare right by her work. The lady who owned it, Ms. Cherri, had a daughter named Ashley. She was about our same age. She went to my mom's school. I found her on facebook and she told me how sorry she was for my loss and told me how much of an impact my mom had on her life. She then posted on her facebook status about my mom passing and one of Ashley's friend commented and said how he remembered my mom and how nice of a lady she was.  She helped Ashley deal with bullying and was always an advocate to end bullying. I would always laugh, but it really is a serious subject. I know I got bullied in middle school and my mom was the first person to help me.

I don't know if I am making any sense. Now the whole me not going back to bed is catching up with me. My eyesight is getting blurry. Well anyways, thanks for listening to me babble and get some  things off of my chest.

Begins with a Single Step

Saturday is the Brain Cancer Awareness Walk in Seattle.

Devin and I are going to walk with my Aunt and Uncle. ( My mom's sister) They are flying from Oklahoma on Thursday. I printed a picture of mom from our wedding that captures her personality and who she was perfectly. I am going to bring it to the walk and place it in the Tent of Honor. She definitely deserves to be honored. :)

Here is the link for our website that I created. It has walk information and links for you to sign up, as a virtual walker if you are not able to attend in person, and a link to make donations.

http://community.swedish.org/walkingforacause

I tried to post the picture of her that I am bringing to the walk but it was too large and since I am not all that computer literate I couldn't resize it. I decided I would attempt to put it on here so you too can understand what I am talking about.

Oh goody! ( As Mom would say!) It worked! You see what I mean? This is the perfect picture of her.

I didn't have a whole lot to write about today,but I have one last thing for you to read. As you start your day, remember this poem:

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
That can still be rearranged

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

by Linda Ellis

My dad read this and knew it was about my mom. At her funeral, this song was played. It really makes you think, am I truly living?

Take a moment to re evaluate your life and the choices you have made.