While it's still vivid in my mind, I need to get it out.
I dreamed that my mom was still alive. It started with Devin and I asleep. Devin got a phone call and handed it to me and said," It's your mom." I quickly took the phone away and said, "Mom?!?!" She said, " Hi honey. I'm doing really good. I don't have any of the tumor and they say my cancer is gone. I can come home now."For some reason, I could see her in the nursing home in her room there talking on the phone. I jumped up and down and replied with an ecstatic voice,"Yay! I can't wait to see you!" Immediately, I thought ' I'm going Florida. Maybe I should stay here now to be with her.' I got up and walked out of the bedroom and she was instantly there! She was sitting in the living room in a chair smiling. I don't know whose living room it was but it made it seem like it was at mine and Devin's house. I told her, " Here come with me. You can sit in my room while I get ready." I walked in front of her and started going through my closet. She was walking slowly with a walker. She came into my room and sat down on the bed. The bed was pretty high so I told her," You don't have to sit there. You can sit in this chair." I began to move clothes that needed to be hung out of the way. She got up off the bed, walked over to the chair, and sat down with a big smile on her face. I smiled back, leaned over her and gave her a big hug and kissed her forehead.
And that was it. I woke up feeling like I really saw her and that I should get up and walk into the living room because she is HERE! But I quickly remembered, that had to be a dream because she was not physically here. She is here in spirit and with our Lord and Savior, but not here on earth. Tears began to roll down my cheeks. I don't know if it was happy tears because I saw her or disappointed tears because I can't feel her hugs anymore. Either way there were tears.
What is really really strange to me is that I have dreamed of this 'bedroom' , that I claim to be mine, more than once. It's a huge bedroom. I mean gigantic! There is so much room that I have a bookshelf near the door separating some of the room up. I have a hug vanity up against one wall and a very high huge bed up against another wall. My closet is clear across the room and it's a decent sized one, but it's also just for me. Devin has his own. Then across from there is the bathroom inside the room. The door is always closed to it when I have my dreams. There is hardwood floors and a rug in the middle of the room. I don't know where this bedroom comes from.
When I was younger, my best friend's dad was in the Army. They lived on Fort Sam Houston in a huge two story house. All of the rooms were huge but the kitchen. It was super tiny! Anyways, I always loved her bedroom the most! It seemed so huge! She had hardwood floors and a rug in the middle and a book shelf near the entrance,but it was up against the wall with porcelain dolls on it. She also didn't have a bathroom within the bedroom like a master bedroom would. So I guess some elements of that room along with elements from our Korean apartment's master bedroom are smushed together to created this huge bedroom I dream of in practically all of my dreams.
It was really like she came to Devin and I's house. She was super excited to see it and be there and really just to be with us.
This is the type of dream I wish could become a reality.
We all dream of having a career and family and having a great life for ourselves. Those dreams can become realities because with hardwork and dedication it can happen. But when you lay your head on the pillow and pretty much float away you can have a dream about anything.
When my grandpa died, it was very close to Thanksgiving day. He was in the hospital for a few days and then the doctors said he needed to stay one more night and then he could go home. The next day he had passed away. Everyone was shocked. He was suppose to come home for heaven's sake! Well he did. He went home to be with the Lord.
My great uncle had just passed away not too long before my grandpa did. After my grandpa passed, my great aunt said she saw my grandpa and her husband ( my great uncle) sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. She said she walked up to them and Henry, my great uncle, said " We are fine. We are just drinking our coffee. Everything will be ok." She was so freaked out she called all the family members and told them about it. My grandpa passed away when I was in 4th grade and to this day we still talk about when Aunt Tom ( short for Tomeiko) said she saw Uncle Henry and Grandpa.
These past few weeks I have been extremely overwhelmed! In a two week time period I needed to study for 6 tests because the week before finals I had last second tests so teachers could have more grades and then the week after was finals. I had to work while doing so and now that the semester is over I have to concentrate on taking the TEAS placement test for nursing school, get my application in for nursing school, make sure my transcripts are sent correctly, pack for Florida, put my two weeks in at work and GO!
I truly believe that my mom visited me last night because she too knew I was overwhelmed. It just proves that she was watching over me and knew I needed a pick me up. You can believe what you like and interpret this how you like, but this is what I truly truly whole heartedly believe.
One last thing. I texted Janna right when I woke up and told her about the dream. She had a dream a while back about mom hugging her. She told me she remembered praying about how much she would like to hug mom again. Then it happened. Totally crazy. I just take this as proof that my mom is where she belongs. As an angel with God and Jesus watching over us daily.
Today, I have a lot going on. To have my mom so vividly in my dream last night, is just what I needed.
This dream shouldn't just be proof to me but to you too. I hope you can see that home doesn't necessarily mean your house off of 1604. Home can also mean with God and Jesus Christ. I hope you can also take in that when you may not realize how much you need a little pick me up, whether it be from someone who is physically here or not, you will receive that little boost for your day. I have received mine and now I feel and know that I am stronger and I am capable of getting everything done I need to get done.
Thank you Mom. I love you very much!
