When in Doubt... Believe

I'm not gunna lie. Some days I wonder if my mom is really watching us. If she really is standing next to me or watching from above. It's hard to know for sure because I can't physically see her.
The only way I know is by believing.

To me, your faith and your beliefs are what make you as a person. Without those, you are nothing. You are just a person who stands for nothing.

One of the things my mom taught me is that "if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything." Oh true she was.

Sometimes,if I don't watch it, I can run my mouth off without thinking. I think we all have these moments honestly.

Anyways, I know my mom is here because I can feel her presence. I have memories in my heart and mind of her which keep her alive. Sometimes I can hear her leading me in the right direction. She really is here even if I can't see her with my own eyes.

I believe that my mom needing to go before my dad and sister and I because she needed to get heaven situated for us. Kind of like getting a home ready to bring a baby home. She is getting our home in heaven ready. God chose her to leave us on Earth first because she was the best "pick" you could say.

Don't get my wrong. My dad helped build our family too. He was a stable unit in keeping us a strong family. The roles as mom and dad play are just different. My mom was always the one who could calm us down when we got all riled up. If one of us got into an argument with the other, she would try and make us see the other's side. I hated when she did that. It drove me absolutely crazy. I think she knew that but she didn't care because she knew I couldn't just fly off the handle.

It's funny because even though I couldn't stand it I find myself doing it too. My mom would always say I was just like my dad. I do think I am more like my dad than my mom, but now that my mom isn't here it's more apparent to me.

I use to say to myself and to Devin how upset I was that my mom wasn't going to be able to witness all kinds of events in mine and Janna's lives as we get older. Now I retract that statement. She will be able to see what happens in our lives for instance, Janna graduating from high school, both of us graduating from college and both of us having kids. She may not be able to give us motherly advice in person, but she raised us, with my dad, to be strong wise women.