I'll wear my Easter bonnet with all the frills upon it!

                                                                HAPPY EASTER!!!

           I know what you are probably thinking, "why are you up so late?". Well, I had work late tonight and I have been meaning to write again. After the night I had, I definitely have a new appreciation for life. Anyways, before I get to that I'd like to ramble a bit. If you don't want to read the 'ramble' go ahead and scroll down to the paragraph that starts with 'tonight'.

           Here's an update on Devin: He found a place that was within his price range in Orlando. He moved in March 25th and is finally settled in now that he has the futon he has been wanting. It's a one bedroom, one bath with a living room and kitchen. There isn't a driveway per say and there isn't a garage, but it's all he really needs. It's on a good side of town close to restaurants and grocery stores and such. It's also super close to his school, so he will only have to drive 15 min. SUPER CLOSE!

          He starts school Monday. He got his uniform shirts at orientation on Wednesday. He is super excited. I am really proud of him. He is doing what he has dreamed of doing. He is very motivated and determined to become a well renowned motorcycle builder/technician! :)
 

             Update on my school: Chem 2 is kicking my ass! This past test I felt so ready, but apparently I need to know more about Ch.15 than I thought I did so I struggled with those questions. In the end, he graded with a curve so my grade went from a 73 to an 84! Yes, I did a happy dance when I saw it! My math classes aren't too bad. My algebra teacher is horrible. We finally had our test monday after many cancellations.My stats teacher is awesome! We have a test thursday.

             Update on the fam: Janna has decided to become an english teacher and then do counseling. Dad and Karen are good. Karen had her thyroid removed but everything was ok. Her biopsy came back negative! Dad's back has been hurting him, but other than that he has been good. He learned how to make a bunny out of origami so he has been busy :)

              Devin's family is doing well. They are the same loving, caring, generous people as they have always been. I am so blessed to have such great in laws. Sorry I just had to brag about that.

             I'm missing Dev a lot so it's nice to be able to hang out with family every now and then. It's not the same, but it helps. Major misses Dev a lot too. He has started to adapt, but you can tell he is still expecting Devin to walk in the door any minute.

               This upcoming week isn't going to be too eventful. Monday is class as always tuesday is the same way. One of my best friends, whom I met in Korea, is coming to visit me on Wednesday. SOOO EXCITED!!! Thursday is my stats test and then friday and the weekend is work work work.

            So I bought this Jergens lotion called Jergens natural glow because I need a tan bad. I don't want to go lay out and I don't want to spend the money on getting a spray tan, so Janna used this before and said it really worked. I was a bit skeptical at first, but I just started putting it on friday night and this morning I could already tell the difference. No lie go get some!

                                            Now onto my eventful evening........

            Tonight, I started with a new client. I was pretty much terrified that I wasn't going to be able to handle it. I kept telling myself, "just think who else is going to do this? this person needs help with everyday things. you can do this." So I would do what she would ask within reason of course if my job allowed it as well.  Once my shift was over, I drove home thinking about how I need to take care of myself better so I don't end up in sticky situations sooner that I'd like in my life. Yes, old age just happens and with old age we begin to fall apart, but if my body can fall apart late in my life such as my 80's or so then I'd say I did pretty darn good. I know that nursing is a rewarding field. Seeing people die, bring life to the world, recover from injuries and so forth, but being a caregiver is also very rewarding. I am getting to help people remain in the comfort of their own homes. It's truly amazing how with some staying at home really encourages them in a way to move around more. Pretty much what I am getting at is I have realized how precious life is. I realized that when my mom passed away. I didn't regret anything with her. I said what I wanted to say to her and spent the time that I could with her as well. It's still hard knowing she is truly gone, but thank God for family and the support they give.
              Anyways, when you go to church today or run errands perhaps throughout the week or go out for a bite to eat, look around your surroundings and for a second put yourself in someone else's shoes. Whether you truly know the person or not just try it. Trust me I think you will feel an appreciation for the life you have. I understand that life gets hard and when we are already down it feels like we are getting stomped on even harder, but remember in the back of your mind that things could always be worse and that someone else is most likely in a worse position than you. So go out tomorrow or later in the week and don't be inpatient when you are waiting in a long check out line because someone has a lot of coupons or they are needing to take their time putting their wallet away or getting their items. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you like to feel rushed? Would you like to hear comments being made that are directed towards you? Don't be inpatient when trying to find a parking spot. Remember some people who really need the handicap stop may not be able to park there because they are all taken and now they have to walk from the back of the parking lot to the entrance with their walker or get pushed in a wheelchair.

              Those are just a few situations that I'd like to give you as examples, but seriously. Go out and try to see things from another's perspective. I promise you will feel like a different person at the end of the day.

           Again, Happy Easter and praise the lord for rising and forgiving us of our sins!
    
                                                             GOD IS GOOD!


P.S. The title of today's blog is a song my mom use to sing to Janna and I on Easter while she was cooking in the kitchen or getting ready for church. I heard the song tonight so I thought I'd share it :)
         
           

Spring Break+Devin's Last Week

                    So I started my Spring Break off to a good start...sinus infection. Yep, I woke up Friday morning feeling like I got hit by a truck. I called into work and got the weekend off due to being contagious. Thank God for mucinex and this prescription nose spray! They were miracle workers! I went back to work Tuesday and now I'm doing some laundry and catching up on TV shows while Devin goes on one last bike ride with his uncle and dad.
                    He leaves Saturday for Florida. It's bittersweet. I know going to MMI and becoming a motorcycle technician will be the best thing. He loves to work on motorcycles so I'm sure he will do great! He eventually wants to open up his own shop once he has some experience under his belt. Florida is so far away and he is going to be gone for 16 months. Fortunately, I can visit in the summer and in the fall. He will only have school in the morning during the week so he will have weekends off. The plus to him being out of the Army and in the real world is he doesn't have to wait to get approved to go on vacation. I know when he gets a job he will have to request off and what not, but it won't be such a hassle like it was in the Army.
                     I'm not gunna lie at times we do miss the consistent paycheck, but the emotional toll and stress we faced daily was just too much. I couldn't stand having a plan made and set and ready to go and then all of a sudden we had to cancel or rearrange things. Whenever we wanted to go on vacation, he got docked days and we had to wait for approval and sometimes it wouldn't get approved because of someone else might have requested the same days. It was just an overall P.I.A! ( Pain in the ass)
                  Now he is going to go to MMI and get certified to be a motorcycle technician so he can work at Harley. Since there are so many harley dealers in San Antonio, his family and mine will be within reach. On the weekends, we can hang out with each other or friends or family. It's really nice to know that after all this time we will finally be in one place with all of our family close by. I know it was only 3 years that he was in the Army, but with as much crap we had to deal with it, honestly. it felt like we were in the Army for 20 years!

                    Anyways, moving on from that.... we had dinner with devin's best friend George and his wife Courtney the other day. They just had a little girl last year and she is adorable! Everytime we go over there I can't help but to pick her up and squeeze her! Devin hadn't held her yet, which was kinda shocking to me. Courtney's mom passed her over and then later Devin picked her up on his own. I told him he has 4 years to still be "selfish" :) His mom thinks it'll be less. Hahaha

                     Let's see what else did we do. Well Monday we had a husband and wife day since I didn't have work or school. We went to Bass Pro Shop, a Pet Store, went over to his parent's house for a little bit and went to the shooting range. Tuesday, Dev went to the driving range with his dad and I went to work :/ then yesterday I had work and Dev helped my dad and Karen around the back yard. Then, we stayed the night at his parent's house to have dinner, watch a movie, and hang out with his mom,dad, sister, brother-in-law, and our niece and nephew.

                          Overall, I'd say we have had a pretty good week. He is out on his motorcycle ride with his uncle and dad like I said earlier in this post. I have work this afternoon and then Dev is going to pack later. Tomorrow we plan on having lunch or dinner with my dad and karen and then going to see a movie. I have work too.

         Well I guess I'll continue with laundry... :)

Gettin' into a Groove

         
                  Well it has been some time since I last wrote. I tried to take advantage of my free time while I had it before I started work and school. I started school Jan.22 and work Jan.18. I have been going and going ever since! Now that I have such a full load I am trying to find the time to spend with Devin before he heads off to Florida for 16 months. I know I will go and visit at some point but since I don't know when just yet it seems like an eternity.

     So yes, Dad got re-married. Karen and him knew each other in high school and dated in high school too. Dad had been re-connecting with people he knew high school since he was planning his 50th high school reunion. Last year, after mom passed away, they reconnected with each other and the rest is history.

                  Dad is enjoying retirement and not having a schedule. :) Janna is still attending Texas A&M and loving it. Devin is working with his Dad on some rent houses they have. I am going to school Monday-Friday and working. My work schedule isn't full like it was when I first started,but I feel like I never have enough time.

    I'm taking College Algebra, Statistics,and Chemistry 2. Out of all the classes Chemistry 2 is the hardest. I only have the class once a week, but it's on a Monday night for 3 hours. When it hits 8pm, my brain has checked out. I should actually be reading one of the chapters we are going over right now and making flash cards, but hey I'm pretty good at procrastination! Anyways, College Algebra is a little tough only because my teacher is a little nutty. He gets very distracted and I don't think he realizes he isn't finishing his sentences and leaves you hanging. My stats class is good. The teacher is awesome. Nuff said :)

     My dad and Karen have been cleaning out the garage. They came across some yearbooks of Mom's and other school stuff. It's really nice to be able to reminisce. I told Devin on Valentine's Day I'd like to go by her grave and put some flowers there. I haven't been to her grave since her ashes were buried. Katie went by when it marked a year that she passed and took a picture for me. She brought flowers and so did Janna and my dad. I know she is gone, but still with me in spirit but I really don't think it's fully and completely set in.

   So I was use to sleeping til 8am 8:30am and doing online classes and then going to work in the evening. Well even though I only did that routine for 6 months it really changed my body clock. I've always wanted to sleep as long as possible, but now it's all I think about lol. Not all I think about but I enjoy my sleep! I need to take a nap before my night class or I might fall asleep in class! Once I can get more settled I think it'll be good.

I has dinner on saturday with my two besties Sarah and Katie. We had fun chit chatting and getting together. It's always good to know you count on someone.

Well I am drained. I need to hit the sack temporarily and then get to some homework.

I just want to say thank you to those who read my blog. I hope I can help you feel like you are not alone if you have lost someone and are coping or I can make you laugh at my cheesy and sometimes sarcastic humor. I hope that I can also help you realize you aren't the only one who is juggling a busy life while trying to get to the dream career.

Remember: Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people,a heart that forgives the worst, mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God.

Home Sweet Home

Well we made it home! Boy, does it feel good. We get to see our parents and family and friends whenever. That's nice.

We are still getting adjusted to the time change. It's amazing how a small time difference such as 2 hours can mess with your body. We are going to bed at midnight Texas time, WA 10pm, and waking up at 10am Texas time, 8am WA time.

It's enjoyable though. We get to relax a little bit. A little mini vacation before we start doing stuff. We found a storage unit so now all we need to do is wait for the holidays to be over so we can contact the Army to have them transport our stuff for us.

The move went well. I was very surprised. Even though we only moved a few times, this was by far the best and smoothest. I just pray that nothing is broken when we go to move our stuff.

Major and Lulu adjusted to the new dogs ( Dad's dogs) just fine. We celebrated Christmas when we got here. We opened up our gifts from Karen and my Dad and Janna. FYI: Karen is my dad's girlfriend. They have been dating for a little bit. They actually knew each other in high school. Ironic.

She is super nice and sweet. She may not be mom ,and by no means is she replacing mom,but if there was anyone I would choose for Dad to continue to spend the rest of his life with ,now that Mom is gone, it would be Karen.

I know I have skipped quite a bit of details, but it's pretty late and I am going to have to save those details for another time.

I need to hit the sack. Tomorrow we are going to meet up with some of our friends we met in Korea who are from San Antonio. They are stationed in New York now.

Sorry for leaving the blog so blah but I will write again shortly.

2 weeks and a couple of shakes!

           It's getting closer and closer to us leaving Washington. Here we have 2 weeks lefts and Devin and I don't even have a list of things we want to do before we leave. For instance, when we were in Korea, we wanted to see so many things and when it got down to the end of our time we were rushed trying to squeeze it all in. Now we are in WA and we have seen the Space Needle, Pike's Place Market, Salmon ladder, The Locks, UW, Puget Sound, Mt. Rainier,Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium,  and we went to visit my cousin John in Seattle. We had a good time here minus the horrible weather all the time. Our landlord was amazing! She was so nice and understanding. Being in the military, things change all the time. Fortunately for us, she understood each time things changed.

           So with Christmas around the corner, and my birthday even closer ( wink wink ), I thought I might share a little tid bit of how the past few days have been for us.

On Monday, we had to take my car to get its 15,000 mile service. Devin had the day off so we went into town together. We met some people from his work for lunch. We ate a place that reminded me of cracker barrel except they didn't have the store in the front. Anyways, since the people from work were in uniform, anyone that saw them said "Thank you for your service." I think it's so nice when someone does that. The men and women go through so much crap that what they do 24/7 is definitely appreciated. There were some older people who stopped to say thank you. When they say thank you a story of how they were in the military comes along with it. I love it. I think it's so cute.

Tuesday, Devin gets a call from the dealer saying that they put the wrong type of oil in my car. He goes over to get it fixed. Since he was at work, he was in uniform.While he was waiting, a man came up to and thanked him for his service. They began talking and the man told Devin how he served in the military for a number of years and he was a helicopter pilot. He even made a reference to the movie Act of Valor. He said in real life that was him flying in the front helicopter during one of the take down scenes. He began to tell Devin about his adventures and tragedies he faced throughout his career.  The man has PTSD and goes to counseling often due to him witnessing his co-pilot die in flight and witnessing many others get killed as well. I thank that man for his service.

Wednesday was just like any other day. Devin went to work. I stayed home. Ya know cleaned up around the house and did some homework.

Thursday I didn't have work so I decided to go to work with Devin. He had a few appointments and stuff like that to get done due to him getting out of the army. When it was lunch, we went to go grab a bag of chips and drinks because I forgot to bring them. Since we had some time for lunch, since the places Devin had to go were closed for lunch, we went off post to grab a bag of chips and some drinks. There was this lady in front of us at the store who had two little girls. She was so nice. She was friendly to the cashier and you could tell this lady was just such a sweet heart. She checks out and before she leaves she turns to Devin and I and thanks both of us for the sacrifices we have made.

I was so touched. No one had ever thanked me too.

Now it's Friday. I am home obviously. I have my math final on Monday so I should be studying but I am currently writing this again obviously. Today the moving company is coming over to do a walk through on the house to see how many boxes and what not they are going to need to bring. It's all becoming more real!

I have enrolled for the Spring Semester. Devin is enrolled for MMI in April. I'm looking for a job that pays pretty good and is flexible with my school schedule. I'm hoping to find something that I don't have to work on the weekends, but we will see.

Well since I have work today and the moving company is coming today I better go so I can get as much studying in as possible.

Y'all have a great weekend!!

P.S. God has answered many prayers of mine, but one of the BIG ones was freeing one of my mom's good friends, Roxanna Yanez, of cancer. I know my mom is being not only our guardian angel but her's too. God is definitely watching over the Yanez and Monaco/Nakayama family.

A year ago...

I woke up this morning really thinking that no one was going to remember what today was besides my sister and my dad.

Last night, when I got home from work, Devin said, "tomorrow is going to be long and full of tears. I added on and said, " Yea tomorrow is going to be a tough day."

Then I knew he remembered.

We went to bed. I woke up and made Devin's lunch and breakfast. He gave me a hug before he left work. He told me, " I am going to try and come home early, but if you need anything call me. Don't forget to call your sister too." He hugged me and kissed me. I went back to bed. He went off to work.

I cried for a little, took a deep breath and went to sleep.

I woke up to a text message from one of best friends, Katie.

She asked me how I was doing.  I couldn't believe she remembered. Honestly, even if she didn't know until she saw something else, like someone else say something or whatever it doesn't matter because not very many people would take the time out of their day to say "hey how are you" 

Katie offered to go to the grave site since I haven't been since the funeral. The head stone was going to take like 4 or so months so when I was there for the funeral it was just grass. I think Katie could tell I was getting upset, so she was saying stuff in the texts to make me laugh. For instance, "I'll see how the ol' headstone is holding up."

Then another one of my best friends, Sarah, texted me and said she was thinking of me today too. 

It made me really happy to know that some of my friends remembered today.

I knew Janna was heading home today from College Station. She wanted to go to mom's grave site too. She said one of her friend's might go with her and my dad too. I figured the more people the better because then it would feel better. 

I don't know if my dad has gone to the grave site since the funeral. I know Janna has.   I don't know if it's my dad's way of detaching himself and coping or what exactly. 

The three of us are dealing with it in different ways. 

This may sound weird, but today I have been looking through pictures remembering where we were, when that was, what was going. Ya  know things like that.

If I cry or end up sobbing the entire time, I think it helps me to deal, cope, whatever you want to call it.

((I'll post some of the pictures I had on my computer on here at the end.))

My sister has her moments I know, but my dad I don't know. He seems to be more quiet about it and would rather not talk about it for too long. That's fine if that's what helps him deal with the situation. I know this week is going to be harder on him that any of us because friday would be there 23rd wedding anniversary. After being together for so long, you just can't forget things like that.

I wish I could be writing today saying that it was a year ago that my mom was put into remission but God had a different plan for her. Each day I discover more reasons why he chose her to join him in heaven. It's hard to remember why on days like today, but tomorrow will be better. 

God has a beautiful person inside and out with him today. I'm jealous of him, my grand father I never got to meet ( my mom's dad), my grandparents ( my dad's parents), and this little boy named Rudy that attended my mom's school when she was a counselor who had leukemia. They all get to celebrate with her today. One year of being an angel.

I love you Mama.

                      This is my mom and I at the going away dinner for me before I left for Korea, the first time. It was at BJ's in Stone Oak. At this time, we didn't know she had cancer. She was so sad that I was leaving. I was so happy to be starting my life as a married woman. :)

                                    Left to Right: Janna, Momo ( my mom's mom), Mom, Me
                              This was in Arlington the summer before I left for Korea. I know it's hard to believe it was summer since there are Christmas trees behind us, but we were at our favorite tea room in Arlington called the Rose Garden. They had a bunch of fake trees up ready to go!

                                         Left to Right: Mom, Lisa, Me, Janna, and Ashley
                                Geeze, I just realized my eyes are closed. Oh well. It's a good picture otherwise.  
           This was at Lisa's baby shower. She was expecting her first baby, Naomi. Devin was at basic      training, so we weren't even engaged yet. Lisa and Ashely are very good family friends. They use to      babysit Janna and I. Their mom was one of our mom's best friend's. They lost their mom to breast cancer about the same age as Janna and I were when we lost our mom. They are the sweetest people you will ever meet.

                                               Left to Right: Me, Janna, Mom, and Momo
                                     This was Thanksgiving 2009. We went to the A&M vs UT game at College Station. Again, Devin was in basic training, so we weren't engaged yet. We were getting ready to go walk around the Aggie Bonfire Memorial. It was so cold!

                                                       Left to Right: Mom, Janna and Me
                                   Sorry, the picture is side ways. I can't figure out how to flip it to the right. Anyways, this was also Thanksgiving 2009, as you can tell. We are at the Memorial with the wind blowing in our hair! I gave Janna a blanket for graduation with this picture on it :)

                                                              My Mom and My Aunt
                                         I sat next to my mom and then Janna was next to me. Momo and my cousin and Uncle were sitting somewhere else. It was so cold. We are near the end zone. There were so many UT fans around us. I kept checking my phone to see if Devin was going to call from basic training. He didn't :( I think I even cried and my mom, like mom's do, was there to comfort me :)

                                                               Mom, Me, and Devin
                                Devin was taking holiday leave from basic training. We, of course, hit up Bass Pro Shop to get some tasty Kettle Korn. We still weren't engaged just yet :) My mom was so proud of Devin and all of his accomplishments. She always called him, " the son she never had."

My mom and I before graduation outside of our house

 

                                              Left to Right: Grandma, Me, Mom, Janna, Dad
                                         This was after Spring Show my senior year. My dad was having a horrible gout episode so he couldn't walk so he was in a wheelchair. My grandma wasn't really able to walk too well either so she was in a wheelchair too. My mother-in-law is taking the picture. Devin was getting to officially join the army so he couldn't be there :(

                                       My mom and I at Madison High school. I graduated Magna Cum Laude so I was given my white sash to wear over my graduation robe. She is obviously one proud lady!

                                                                             
                                              Mom and I at Spirit Banquet. Her and my dad were the President's of the Spirit Club. She put it in a lot of hard work and extra time out of her day. I'm so glad she did. It gave us more time to spend with one another, even if at the time , she drove me nuts!

                                        My mom and I in New York City at the Tavern on the Green. This place is no longer there. It was a trip for my senior year. She was a chaperone and an amazing one at that. All kinds of drama went down and she was there to pick up the pieces and mediate! She drove me crazy with how excited she was and how many pictures she wanted to take, but I wouldn't take any of that back for the world!

                                          My mom and I on Halloween in 2010. She was just diagnosed and was undergoing chemo and radiation. We sat outside and passed out candy.

                                           My mom and Dad! They were getting ready to celebrate their anniversary in a month. I just realized this, but they are both wearing orange! :)

                                         My mom and I at the Paul Mitchell Hair Show. Janna was one of the models. This was Fall 2010. Mom was looking pretty good for doing chemo and radiation.

                                                    Mom and Dad at the Hair Show

                                                      Mom and I eating dinner with Dad and Janna at one of favorite sushi restaurants in San Anotnio, Godai. She never ate Sushi. She always got Chicken Teriyaki. The necklace she is wearing in this picture is what Janna and I got her for her birthday this year. Little did we know, this would be the last birthday she would rememeber, at least it was a good one.

                                 We are celebrating my 20th birthday early since I am about to head back to Korea. Mom is done with her chemo and radiation treatments now. She started losing her hair so since it was so thin she put a hat on. Hey it's a cute hat! We ate the cheesecake factory. I invited some friends. We had a good time. Little did I know, it was the last birthday I was going to spend with her.

                         My mom and I at the airport getting ready to go see Devin graduate from basic training.  We were both so excited! The necklace she is wearing here, my dad gave to her. It has her initals on the back. She loved the jewelry he made her.

                                   My mom with my mother in law. It's not often that you see the in laws who actually like each other. They were good friends through and through.

                                       My parents and Janna came to Korea March 2011. They were so excited! We took them to eat at our favorite italian restaurant in Ujeongbu. Janna was so jet lagged she was at home sleeping. My mom so cold, my dad gave her his jacket. :)

                                           We went and ate at Hooter's in Korea too!

   
                                         Then we had to say goodbye. They visited for spring break. It was a nice visit. We would be seeing them soon in June/July for the wedding.


Such great memories that I am so glad I have to look back on.
    

My Mom was so brave God made her an Angel

This month I have been having some trouble falling asleep at night. I don't know if it's my body and mind reliving what happened a year ago or what the deal is.

I usually don't have such a hard time falling asleep, but I end lying in bed for 30 minutes listening to Devin snore and the radio play. I take deep breaths and try to relax, but it seems like when I exhale the tension creeps back in.

I bought some melatonin the other day to help my body get back on track a little bit, but I haven't been able to give it a good try with my work schedule.

I full thought I wasn't going to be working last night or tonight, but little did I know I was.

Being a waitress is something I will definitely not miss. I really liked being a receptionist. Shoot working 9-4 having weekends and holidays off. It was nice. Now I'm working at night only while Devin is at home. It's a bit frustrating. I'm just glad I won't have to do this too much longer.

Anyways, I laid in bed last night thinking about where I was on this day last year. I couldn't help but cry. Not sobs just normal tears. It's weird that it's going to be a year tomorrow.

I must say this is the hardest year I have ever had to experience. I lost my mom, I moved back to the states, finishing up school, getting a new job,etc. Life and God have definitely shown me that I can conquer anything I am given.

I know I won't be in the best state of mind tomorrow, but luckily I have Devin, Janna, and my dad along with great friends.

 Thursday is Thanksgiving. Friday would be my parent's anniversary. I know my Dad will be having a tough week.

I talk to my Dad often, but it's nothing compared to my mom. My mom would send text messages all throughout the day whether we just off the phone or not. My dad doesn't really do that. I'm not saying that he needs to it's just we have a different relationship than my mom and I had.

I talked to my Aunt Bea yesterday. I never realized how much her and my mom looked like alike until she came to visit in September. I was in awe. It was like seeing my mom. It hit home a little. When I talk to her on the phone, she reminds me of my mom sometimes, but then she says something that is so NOT my mom and I snap back and remember nope still my  Aunt. lol

I really just the next couple of days to fly by.